Vanity Insanity

As we move (finally!) into spring, I am thinking of a winter story.  I used to go up to northern New Hampshire in the winter to spend time with CJ and her mom at their time share in Conway … and to visit the outlet malls.

One morning we were going to drive up to the malls in North Conway and the radio news guy announced that the windchill would be 35 below zero and gave some tips for making it through such weather.  His last tip was: “And ladies, don’t wear any exposed jewelry.”

I laughed because it seemed a funny final note, and because there wasn’t a chance I’d be leaving the house without earrings.  Note: no jewelry is a nakedness I consider wholly unacceptable.

So I laughed at the weatherman as I put on my big silver disk earrings.  When was I really going to be outside, after all?  I’d go from house to car, car to mall, mall shop A to mall shop B …

I think I was walking from mall shop E to mall shop F when I noticed a problem.  My left ear really hurt.  But really hurt.  I reached up and pulled off my earring … and pulled off at least the top layer of earlobe skin with it.

Can I just say: O U C H ! !

Yes, my earring had frozen to my ear.  Frozen. to. my. ear.  Oh.  Would that be why the weatherman warned against wearing exposed jewelry on our sunny 35-below day?

You’re thinking, “At what price, beauty?” and all.  But remember: no earrings = naked.  Right.  My accidental dermabrasion taught me that no skin is a far less comfortable nakedness! 



is hosted by Stacey and Ruth at Two Writing Teachers.


8 thoughts on “Vanity Insanity

  1. I’m still laughing. Not at your pain, but at the skill and humor you use in telling your stories. I knew what was going to happen, but sure enjoyed getting to that part. Nice use of all the punctuation. (We’re studying that now, so my radar is tuned in to it)


  2. Ashley Dawn

    🙂 Great story. I have been there- wearing my hoop earings in the winter and learning a lesson the hard way.

    I love the way you described being naked not wearing jewlery.


  3. Ouch, indeed. Once, as a small child in Michigan, I couldn’t resist laying my tongue against a metal stair railing knob during winter. I remember the feeling of realizing I was kind of stuck, you know, that “oops” feeling. Fortunately, I was able to disentangle without losing any skin, but it still is a kind of anxious memory, for what could have happened. I wonder why your ear hurt even before you pulled the earring off. Maybe your skin was being tugged in some sort of way.


    1. Ooo, tongue on frozen metal! I managed to miss that experience. I’m glad your tongue came through unscathed! I think my ear hurt because the skin was frozen, you know how when you get so cold you ache? That’s the only thing I can think of.


Your turn ...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s