Ebb Tide (An Update)

My abject terror (see previous post) is receding.  Not entirely gone, but so much better than two weeks ago.  In an email to Fox, I talked a little bit about my book-induced fear.

Fox had a very simple response to my trauma: I might be less frightened at home if I started locking my front door.

Yeah, you can laugh.  No, really.  Go ahead.  I’ll wait.

Because I hadn’t been locking my door.  Not that you could just walk into my house from the street or anything, there’s a big iron gate between that door and the street.  But she was right, and I knew it.  When I came home scared that first night, I thought about locking the door, but didn’t do it, didn’t want to give in to the book, let it dictate my behavior.   Right.

I held out for another day after getting Fox’s email, then locked my door.

And I had the first almost-good night’s sleep I’d had since the terror started.  How’s that for unbelievably ridiculous?

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12 thoughts on “Ebb Tide (An Update)

    1. Of course, I’ve just gotten comfortable being in my own house, and now I’ve left town for two days for a training, and I have to get comfortable walking down these weirdly empty, long and circuitous hallways … and then get comfortable in my house all over again!

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  1. Molly

    I think it’s a very good idea to lock your door, and any other sensible thing that ordinary people do (like lock car doors when you’re driving alone at night — one of the bravest women I have ever met taught me that one — and I don’t do it, but I do consider it when it’s really late). I also think you’re struggling with something hard that is going on, which is not really about your personal safety. I have no idea what it is, but I want to stand by you and comfort you. I am sure you can figure this out. I don’t think life magically becomes easy one fine morning, but I do think we sometimes paint ourselves into corners and just have to wait for the paint to dry — or get our feet dirty and ruin the paint job.

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  2. blendtec

    There are a few choice words that come to mind when I hear about your before not locked door…..but I will keep them to myself and say them to you in person when I see you next.

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  3. Well, I’m glad that helped.

    One of the things I like about living out in the boonies as I do (and mind you, these days, the list of things I like about it is seeming shorter and shorter) is that we don’t have to worry about locking doors. We do generally lock them, but it’s no big deal if we forget to.

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    1. Mmm … I like the idea of living in a place where you don’t have to worry about locks. Mind you, I’d still probably lock mine, but it would be nice to know I didn’t have to.

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