Misfire on Engines 1, 2, 3, …

“I’m looking for someone to complete me.”

“At your age, you can’t waste any time.  You have to be serious right from the start.  Instead, you act like you’re 20 years old.”

“I never kiss anyone that I don’t plan to have a long term relationship with.”

“I have a friend who wants to meet you …  I guess that’s my way of saying I’m not interested.”

“What’s your dress size?”

“Oh, I guess you’ve got trust issues.”

“I’m afraid to talk to you.”

“You’ll have to correct my English.  I speak Ebonics.”

“What are you wearing right now?”

“The way you are, I bet it would be something like two months before we have sex.”

(Guess again.)

And that’s just a partial list.

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7 thoughts on “Misfire on Engines 1, 2, 3, …

  1. Damn, I have heard just about all of the above. And unfortunately, you’re right, I’ve also heard more such drivel. Dating in the 80’s was merely skipping over pot holes compared to now. Today, it feels like I’m zipping through a minefield in gasoline soaked La Perlas.

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    1. Yeah, I just don’t feel equipped for this at all. Not enough patience, not enough compassion, not enough tolerance … not a low-enough bar!

      Not sure how long I’ll keep tip-toeing through this minefield. But maybe at least long enough to post a bit more of this nonsense!

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  2. inmate1972

    Him (1996): “You should wear stilettos when on a date with me.”

    Him (1998): “Personally, I think truly feminine women have long hair…but your hair, that’s okay too.”

    Him (2000): “I’d buy you a drink, but honestly, you kind of scare me.”
    Me: “Then fuck off.”

    Thank DOG I am not out there anymore! I feel for you sister.

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