Really? Was I really just on the train next to a man who called me Mr. My President’s name in an effort to insult me? This after making hog-calling noises and chanting “la fea” (ugly woman) at me for five straight minutes. When none of that had any effect, he moved on to, “Another dirty Obama.”
I’m just tired, people. To the marrow of my bones. Tired.
And, too, there is the stupidity: he really thinks comparing me to a well-educated, intelligent, powerful person is an effective slur? Please. Whether he thought he was comparing me to Mr. or Mrs., he needs to develop his understanding of the concept of insults.
Or maybe I’m wrong. Maybe being well-educated, intelligent, and powerful are three things to which he doesn’t aspire. In that case, his slur was right on target.
But the Obama business aside, what was any of that about? What about me made him need to do any of what he did? Yes, my size makes the hog-calling an easy default position … you know, for a jerk. And, if he doesn’t like big women (or brown women?), then I would certainly be ugly in his eyes. But really, is he traveling the city hog-calling and “la-fea-ing” brown-skinned women of size from one borough to the next? That seems like an invitation to get smacked around a good deal.
I know, it’s the Ides of March and all, and I should clearly have been on my guard. I also know that his ugliness is his way of telling me about himself and has nothing to do with me. Still. I am just brain-freezingly tired. I am … but then I feel guilty because I’m too over this crap to engage. “Another dirty Obama?” Is this who we are?
And I’m always and always asking that question, aren’t I? I really debated with myself about posting this story. Every time I write about something like this, people express shock that such a thing could happen to me. And that’s okay. Obviously, I’m shocked, too. But this isn’t just happening to me. It’s happening to people of color everywhere. And I don’t know what to do with my shock, or yours, or anyone else’s.
And this, of course, is the real problem with my comic: there is too much material, and the volume is ever increasing.
Find the rest of today’s slices at Two Writing Teachers.