Aruns for April – 7

I’m
not strong —
not as strong
as my facade.
Or as calm, as sure.
Not.
I am
easily
shaken, silenced,
easily weakened.
Once
I knew
my power.
Today I’ve lost
that fingertip hold.

An Arun: a fifteen-line poem in three sets of five lines. Each set of five lines follows the same syllable structure: starting with one syllable and increasing by one (1/2/3/4/5 — 3x).

(Surely it’s not as serious as all that.  I think it’s just the rising tide of my worry, nervousness for next week, for the weeks that will come after, for the yawning maw of UNKNOWN that’s waiting for me on the other side of surgery.  It just needs to happen already so I can get past this and on to the work of recovery.)