Change

Happy first day of spring! It’s felt so long in coming this year. I know winter might have one last breath to blow our way, but I’m not worrying about that now. I’m thinking about warm breezes, bright green new leaves unfurling, and the blooming of the forsythia — always my favorite sign of spring.

I’m also thinking about this:

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I was looking through photos from my last Jamaica trip, and came across this guy and realized I never posted many (any?!) of my pictures from that trip.   This is from Falmouth, where I stayed for just a couple of days at the end of my trip.  I was sitting on the verandah of my little shack on the beach writing, saw something out of the corner of my eye … and there he was.  Slow-slow-slowly, I reached for my camera, hoping not to scare him off.  Not only did I not scare him away, I got to watch his excellent little show:

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And I thought about the ways in which we are often required to change so completely to fit our environments, the times when we wish we could change that completely, the times when blending in with the background is anything but desirable.  And I wondered what the lizard feels when he’s changing, how he knows he’s changed enough.  And I tried to remember how I’ve felt in those times when I’ve made a conscious effort to step out of the wallpaper and become visible.

I’ve been focusing on change for a while now, since I made the decision to have my knee surgery, since I began to recover.  Not just the “simple” change of learning my life with this new joint, but deeper and more complex changes to who and how I am and what I want for and from myself.  I’ve been stumbling with a whole lot of one step forward, three steps back, letting fear hobble me.  I’m looking to do the lizard in reverse, step finally and fully away from the wallpaper and embrace my technicolor.  Yes, it means the birds will be better able to see me.  I say: Bring it.

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All the other slicers are hanging out over at Two Writing Teachers!

SOL image 2014

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6 thoughts on “Change

  1. Wow how amazing that you captured the lizard changing, camouflaging, and practically disappearing. What a thought provoking metaphor for the ways we adapt in our lives. Your writing always blazes to in full technicolor to me so I think you are already on your way!

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    1. Thank you so much! Yes, the lizard’s ability to almost disappear astounded me. I knew they changed color, but I never imagined just how dramatic that would be to see. He stayed in the same position the whole time, which was also surprising to me. So cool to see!

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  2. Oh, what amazing photos! That little lizard is such a beauty. I’ve never seen anything like that display with my own eyes. Thank you for sharing what your eyes and your lens got to see!

    And I love your musings about become more or less visible. (Stepping away from the wallpaper! I love it!) I, too, have thought about my choices with respect to my own invisibility. I have cultivated a certain amount of invisibility, because I mostly want to be left alone. But sometimes I get irritated when I am passed by or forgotten. (Sometimes people don’t realize I’m in line, or remember that I was the one who had an idea….)

    I love that you are embracing your technicolor!

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    1. I’m so happy I captured that transformation. I’d never seen anything like it before.

      As for stepping out from the wallpaper … it’s a work in progress for me. I am working at it, however, and see so much progress. It frustrates me that it’s taken me so long to get her, but I have to start from wherever I am, and so …

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