My Phone, Myself

Like a fair number of people, I have a phone that allows me to send texts. This may be a bigger deal for me than for some, seeing as I still used a rotary phone as recently as 2007, seeing as I am writing this post with a fountain pen in my (handmade) notebook rather than composing directly on the computer.

I send a lot of texts. When I started texting, my phone struggled to understand me, inserting a lot of randomness into my notes … and a lot of deleted expletives. Yes, my phone thought I had a vocabulary like a stevedore. I would type “bookish,” it would come out “b****.” I would type “folkways” (yes really, folkways … hey, I’ve already explained that I use words other people don’t), it would come out “f***.” Clearly my phone and I had some serious disconnection issues.

Over time, of course, my phone has gotten to know me better. It no longer thinks I swear like a sailor. It still offers up wacky next-word options that I would surely never want to type. If I spoke the way my phone wanted me to, I’d be some kind of crazy, unintelligible philosopher, saying things such as, “I’m going on an adventure containing myself home.” Right. Because aren’t we all?

This morning, however, I realized my relationship with my phone has become a true luv thang.

I was typing an email to my sister and one of the sentences began: “I was missing … ” I was writing a very boring and ordinary exciting, “I was missing something important.”

Not for my phone I wasn’t.

I typed, “I was missing …” and my phone knew exactly what I needed to say, offering up: VONA!

I almost laughed out loud. “You know me, little Galaxy. You finally know me!”

Because of course, yes. Aren’t I always kind of missing VONA? Thank goodness our retreat is next week so I can get a fix!


It’s the annual Slice of Life Story Challenge, hosted by the wonderful people over at Two Writing Teachers! Every day this month, hundreds of writers will be posting their stories. Head on over and check out the other slices!

SOL image 2014

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10 thoughts on “My Phone, Myself

  1. Hahahaha. Your phone indeed knows you well. My cell does the opposite to me. I am the stevedore, I had to teach it to cuss. Because most times life’s a beach, but othertimes… I did laugh when it automatically offered “cow” after I typed in “holy”. Hmm, maybe it does know me after all and is purposely correcting my foul mouthed fingers by offering alternatives. Enjoy VONA next week.

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  2. I know I have told you this a kazillion billion times(atleast I thought it that many)you have a glorious way with words! This made me laugh. I love that your phone finally has gotten to know you and has stopped swearing. The VONA comment was perfect! I just upgraded to a “smart phone” last summer and I hestitated because I didn’t want it to be smarter than me! I use talk to text when texting my sis. I was thinking of writing about the humorous things it translates and sometimes I don’t catch before sending.

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        1. True. And that’s fine, of course. (Well, sometimes it’s fine. Maybe it’s fine. 🙂 ) You want people to come buy your product … I just wish I could believe someone had given real thought to this campaign before throwing it out there.

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