A man walked down the street beside me for about a block today, offering a particularly churlish scold into his phone:
“Listen, you’re welcome to be friends with all of them … but I’m going to say that right now you need to explain yourself, you need to convince me why. I’m saying, you’ll do whatever you like, but first you need to make it plain for me. I’ve already told you why you need to get rid of each and every one of them. Now you have to explain yourself.”
Who has friends like this? I, actually, used to have a friend like this. Then I woke up. In fairness to both her and me, she wasn’t always like this. But then she was.
Listening to that guy today, I found myself wondering who was on the other end of his phone. Did they think this man was a good friend to them, a real friend, a decent person, just barely tolerable?
Who Loves You?
Do friends say they love your commanding attitude, the way you bark orders at them? Do they love your disdain for their ability to make choices, to live as full, independent adults? Or is it that mocking tone you take with them that has won their hearts? Have they told you so? Have they said it? You stride with such confidence, shout your demands with such ease. What are you afraid of? What betrayal do you feel in people’s insistence on autonomy? If your friends have told you they love you, why do you trust them too little to belive it? Why must they love only you to make you happy? I’m not saying that right now you need to explain yourself, but maybe you should … to yourself.
Update: There was some problem with my posts not posting. I’d hit “publish,” and go on about my business while my posts would go … I don’t know where. April 4th showed up on the 6th! The others didn’t show up at all. I seem, now, to have fixed the problem. I’m posting the ones that vanished with their original dates. This one should have appeared on Tuesday.
Are you writing poems this month? Where can I see them? Let’s share this craziness!
As I did last year, I’ll be following along with the Poem-A-Day challenge at Robert Lee Brewer’s Poetic Asides Blog. Today’s prompt is to write a love/anti-love poem. I don’t actually know what anyone might mean by that, but there it is. You can post your daily poems on Brewer’s page. The top poem from each day will be included in an anthology later this year!