I always feel like somebody’s watching me …

Which is actually not at all true, but I can’t help thinking about that song right now.

Turns out, there are at least seven different people from my job who have been reading and commenting here. Seven. And there may be others who have just chosen not to contact me after reading last night’s post. I have seven different emails to respond to after yesterday, and included among them is one from the person I was actually thinking about when I wrote that post.

To be clear, no one is cyber-stalking me or bullying me or anything like that. I have just felt odd about some of the comments and odd about the fact that the person (and now, I realize, a bunch of people) was reading here but not letting me know they were reading here.

This discovery that my tiny little audience a) is bigger than I thought and b) includes people who are at least tangentially connected to me in the real world reinforces for me the importance of what I wrote yesterday. I can’t let any of that make a difference in what I write here, in whether or not I write here. These seven people know me/know about me in a very particular way. I fit into a certain set of boxes. If they are reading back through this blog, they will learn …

  • That I am often really angry
  • That I write and think about racism a LOT
  • That I have a lot to say about living while fat
  • That I am incredibly and unashamedly vain
  • That I’ve had some really ugly experiences in my life
  • That I’ve had some really fabulous experiences in my life
  • That I’m older than they might have thought

And sure, plenty of other things, too. Is it weird to learn these things about me and not actually try to meet me when we work for the same institution? A little, I guess. But it’s okay, too. I put all this stuff out there with the idea that it will be read — and read, quite specifically, by strangers. So I can’t really fuss when people do exactly what I hope people will do.

So I’ll keep posting in my Queen of Oversharing fashion. Maybe I’ll even post some of the things I wrote last year but didn’t share here. We’ll see.


It’s the 14th annual Slice of Life Story Challenge!
Head on over to Two Writing Teachers
and see what the rest of this year’s slicers are up to!

Original Slicer - GirlGriot

2 thoughts on “I always feel like somebody’s watching me …

  1. Not that it will make you feel any better – remember I’ve been an adiposer. I have a couple of friends who are colleagues and happen to friends with my boss. While I am not connected with my boss in any manner on social media for obvious reasons, I do they are aware of my blog and Adipositivity. Like you, I’ve chosen to speak my truths in the medias that best express my voice.

    You have never said anything egregious that I can recall. Even if you had, this is your blog and your views are just that, yours. So yay you for keeping on, keeping on being you.

    Oh, and thanks for the TWO ear worms, GG.

    Like

    1. Thanks, Rai. (And you’re welcome for the ear worms! 😉 )
      I’m going to keep this response as a reminder for me. I want to be here, want to share here, and I need to stretch out and be myself here.

      Liked by 1 person

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