Tonight I am cranky. Tired and cranky. The day started mostly well. But bad news has a way of forcing any glimmer of hope and happiness to gutter and fade. This will pass. I know it will. But for now, all I want to say is, No.
No. No. No. No. No.
And also: Damn it.
Mixing of cultures
dipping toes in the water
Learning who we are,
learning how we are alike
past the differences
that poke at us, cloud our view
We have now, just now
to listen with eyes open.
We have only now —
this half-spent moment, this breath.
to listen, finally hear.
I keep trying to poke at different things with these chōka . I’m too fussy right now to have a real opinion about this one. It doesn’t do what I wanted it to, but it’s done, and that’s got to be enough of a point for tonight.
A chōka is a Japanese form poem with a specific syllable count per line. The shortest form of chōka is: 5 / 7 / 5 / 7 / 5 / 7 / 5 / 7 / 7. The 5- and 7-syllable lines can repeat as many times as needed. The poem’s end is signaled by the extra 7-syllable line. The final five lines can be used to summarize the body of the poem.
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Rain. It’s our forecast through the weekend. I shouldn’t complain because a) it’s not snow, and b) I like rain. I like walking under a big, pretty umbrella, like seeing everyone’s fun and funky rain boots, like watching kids splash joyously in every puddle they can find. Rain is good.
But I can’t help thinking of the Carpenters song. This has been a long and unexpectedly difficult week. As I was drafting this post in my notebook, I was on my way to work to pack up my office. No, I’m not leaving my job, I’m just moving to an office down the hall. I’m not excited, but I’m trying to be grown up about it. I get why it’s necessary (the suite of offices for my program is too small for all the people we need to fit in it, so I’m making way for a new coordinator because it makes sense for her to be near her staff), I’m just feeling sour. I like the little sanctuary I’ve created in my current space and the new one won’t lend itself to the same comfort or privacy, to say nothing of the fact that I’m moving away from the people I work most closely with. Ultimately, it will be fine, but right now it makes me cranky.
Too, some good news I was going to write about last week was ripped out of my hands on Monday. On my way up to WE LEARN, I got word that we’d been awarded a grant we really, really needed for our teen programs. Monday night we got word that the funder had rescinded all awards and that it will be “some time n the future” before we hear from them about reapplying.
And that on top of the budget cuts the city government has handed down. The cuts that are forcing an early end to classes this year and will decrease services for next year.
–sigh– Now it feels like a rainy day.
Check out the rest of the slices of life over at Stacey and Ruth’s.
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