Short and Sweet (30 Stories – 14)

Yeah, so another absence.  To be explained later (eventually?).   And now I’m jumping into NaNoWriMo, which will surely make finishing these 30 stories even less likely.  Still …

I’ve begun working with my writing mentee, now that she’s back from summer break and our program is up and running again.  One of her goals for the year is to work on writing short stories.  Perfect, yes?  In our last meeting, we talked about building complex sentences, about starting from the very basic and just adding words.  So I wrote a one-sentence story as an example to share with her today.  The rules: start with a two-word sentence, add no more than three words with each revision.  Not sure I love the result, but we’ll be working on it this morning!

_____

He walked.

He walked quickly.

He walked to his car quickly.

He looked around then walked to his car quickly.

Before leaving, he looked around then walked to his car quickly.

Before leaving his hiding place, he looked around then walked to his car quickly.

That night, before leaving his hiding place, he looked around then walked to his car quickly.

That night, before leaving his hiding place, he watched Ella, looked around, then walked to his car quickly.

That night, before leaving his hiding place, he watched Ella count the money, looked around, then walked to his car quickly.

Earlier that night, before leaving his hiding place, he had watched Ella count the money, looked around and then walked to his car quickly.

Earlier that night, before leaving his hiding place after he had watched Ella count the money, he’d looked around and then walked to his car quickly.

Earlier that night, before pressing “start” and leaving his hiding place — after he had watched Ella count the money — he’d looked around and then walked to his car quickly.

Earlier that night, before pressing “start” and leaving his hiding place — after he had watched Ella count the money — he’d looked around and then walked to his car quickly, gripping his keys.

Earlier that night, before pressing “start” and leaving his hiding place — after he had watched Ella count the money — he’d looked around and then walked to his car quickly, gripping his cold, sharp keys tightly.

Earlier that night, before pressing “start” and leaving his hiding place — after he had watched Ella count the money — he’d looked around and then walked to his car quickly, gripping his cold, sharp keys tightly, certain of nothing.

Earlier that night, before pressing “start” on the timer and leaving his hiding place — after he had watched Ella count the money — he’d looked around and then walked to his car quickly, gripping his cold, sharp keys tightly, certain of nothing.

Earlier that night, before pressing “start” on the timer and leaving his hiding place — after he had watched Ella count the money — he’d looked around and then walked to his car quickly, gripping his cold, sharp keys tightly, certain of nothing he’d done.

Earlier that night, long before pressing “start” on the timer and leaving his hiding place — after he had watched Ella count the money — he’d looked around and then walked to his car quickly, gripping his cold, sharp keys tightly, certain of nothing but what he’d done.

Earlier that night, long before pressing “start” on the timer and leaving his hiding place — after he had watched Ella count the money — he’d looked around and then walked to his car quickly, gripping his cold, sharp keys tightly, certain of nothing but what he’d done, certain.

Earlier that night, long before pressing “start” on the timer and leaving his hiding place — after he had watched Ella count the money — he’d looked around and then walked to his car quickly, gripping his cold, sharp keys tightly, certain of nothing but what he’d done, certain only of time.

Earlier that night, long before pressing “start” on the timer and leaving his hiding place — after he had watched Ella count the money — he’d looked around and then walked to his car quickly, gripping his cold, sharp keys tightly, certain of nothing but what he’d done, certain only of the time.

Earlier that night, long before pressing “start” on the timer and leaving his hiding place — after he had watched Ella count the money — he’d looked around and then walked to his car quickly, gripping his cold, sharp keys tightly, certain of nothing but what he’d done, certain only of the time he’d chosen.

Earlier that night, long before pressing “start” on the timer and leaving his hiding place — after he had watched Ella count the money — he’d looked around and then walked to his car quickly, gripping his cold, sharp keys tightly, certain of nothing but what he’d done, certain only of the time he’d chosen for the detonation.

Earlier that night, long before pressing “start” on the timer and leaving his hiding place — after he had watched Ella count the money — he’d looked around and then walked to his car quickly, gripping his cold, sharp keys tightly, certain of nothing but what he’d done, certain only of the time he’d chosen for the detonation, still unsure.

Earlier that night, long before pressing “start” on the timer and leaving his hiding place — after he had watched Ella count the money — he’d looked around and then walked to his car quickly, gripping his cold, sharp keys tightly, certain of nothing but what he’d done, certain only of the time he’d chosen for the detonation, still unsure if he would act.

Earlier that night, long before pressing “start” on the timer and leaving his hiding place — after he had watched Ella count the money — he’d looked around and then walked to his car quickly, gripping his cold, sharp keys tightly, certain of nothing but what he’d done, certain only of the time he’d chosen for the detonation, still unsure if he would act, if he could.

Earlier that night, long before wishing, before pressing “start” on the timer and leaving his hiding place — after he had watched Ella count the money — he’d looked around and then walked to his car quickly, gripping his cold, sharp keys tightly, certain of nothing but what he’d done, certain only of the time he’d chosen for the detonation, still unsure if he would act, if he could.

Earlier that night, long before wishing (praying) for options, before pressing “start” on the timer and leaving his hiding place — after he had watched Ella count the money — he’d looked around and then walked to his car quickly, gripping his cold, sharp keys tightly, certain of nothing but what he’d done, certain only of the time he’d chosen for the detonation, still unsure if he would act, if he could.

_____

Hmm … I was surprised by how difficult this was to do.  Curious what my mentee will think of it.

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